Some days are worst than others.
Emotions are running high in this petite body of mine. After having 2 children semi-back-to-back, my body, after 3 years is finally "back to normal..." and oh how I didn't miss this. Hormones suck!
It's not just that aspect of biology, I'm insanely busy this LAST semester as a student to get my BA! I'm working way more than I will admit, and taking 2 classes and driving back and forth and back and forth from work to work to home to work...missing my kids, forgetting what it's like to spend quality time with Jake....in it's place we have misunderstanding and miscommunications left and right...tonight...(I laugh just thinking about this...) Emmaus is getting ready to go downstairs for bed, and he looks at me and says, Mommy's mad...I couldn't keep a straight face when he said it.....it's funny how perspective changes things.
I roll my eyes thinking about how things happen....it's petty, and silly and just stupid...
Breathe....
2 more months eh....that's not too bad....8 weeks give or take...that's less than 1 trimester of pregnancy....If I can do that...I can do this!!! Right?...haha...
If it weren't for this "Womanhood," I think I'd be fine....I hate "letting" that take over though, I've always thought it was a really bad excuse....I just need to remember my breathing....and prayer...and give extra long hugs to those amazingly cute babies of mine...only they aren't babies anymore....She's ONE....and so funny and cute and loving...Lord thank you for all my blessings, friends, family, opportunities, and silly blogs where I can vent....and feel normal for doing so!..
as always...thanks for reading peeps.
mmmm...peeps sound good (wink*)
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
What does One do at 1 am?
My brain won't let me read anymore, so homework is out of the question. I don't even feel up to writing an email, cause I'm not sure any of it would make sense. So, then why am I trying to blog?...eh, why not. I think my SLR camera is broken. I'm afraid to put the battery back in for fear it is dead. I do have the prospect of getting a new one upon graduation from the U...so that's only 6 months away...assuming I pass all my classes from now until then. My keyboard on my laptop was replaced, but is still having problems, and my hard-drive is full of pictues to the point that it might stop running...
WAIT...I'm not here to complain or have a *&^%$ session....I just wanted to update this thing, yet again...and the first thinng out of my mouth (hands) shouldn't be griping. My family is doing great. Imogen is going up and down stairs, Emmaus has been hanging out with his 5 and 7 year old cousin for the past week, and I think he thinks he's at least 5. He repeats everything that we say, I gave him a new drink tonight, and he was like...What's this?...and I told him it was like a yogurt/milk drink (Thanks again Jeannine) and I asked if he like it, he said "Yes." I wish I could type his voice...he's so freaking CUTE!!!
He's been doing better at listening, and doing really great with his potty training...He doesn't want our help anymore with going to the bathroom, although (just between us, he does still need help, says his pants that I had to change today...)-But I couldn't be more prouder of both of them.
I love how Imogen wants me to hold her above anyone else once she catches my eye gaze, or hears my voice. It comforts me grately that she seeks me to comfort her. Warms me to the core.
Good night Never Land!
WAIT...I'm not here to complain or have a *&^%$ session....I just wanted to update this thing, yet again...and the first thinng out of my mouth (hands) shouldn't be griping. My family is doing great. Imogen is going up and down stairs, Emmaus has been hanging out with his 5 and 7 year old cousin for the past week, and I think he thinks he's at least 5. He repeats everything that we say, I gave him a new drink tonight, and he was like...What's this?...and I told him it was like a yogurt/milk drink (Thanks again Jeannine) and I asked if he like it, he said "Yes." I wish I could type his voice...he's so freaking CUTE!!!
He's been doing better at listening, and doing really great with his potty training...He doesn't want our help anymore with going to the bathroom, although (just between us, he does still need help, says his pants that I had to change today...)-But I couldn't be more prouder of both of them.
I love how Imogen wants me to hold her above anyone else once she catches my eye gaze, or hears my voice. It comforts me grately that she seeks me to comfort her. Warms me to the core.
Good night Never Land!
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Slacker
Wow, really, I haven't blogged since January. I guess that's when school started probably...haha.
I'd love to pull up some photos, or say something awesome...but I need to finish my final paper for my Attachment Theory class, get my scheudule up for work while we are in Minnesota for 6 weeks, Run home to get things ready for the potluck at work tomorrow,
Oh yea and kiss my beautiful almost 7 month old girl who wants to stand and walk already, and Emmaus who wakes up wanting to watch Incredibles, or Tangled, or his Favorite NEMO. But only after he has 5 smiley faces for going to the potty.
Until later...IF you are still checking this, thanks peeps!
I'd love to pull up some photos, or say something awesome...but I need to finish my final paper for my Attachment Theory class, get my scheudule up for work while we are in Minnesota for 6 weeks, Run home to get things ready for the potluck at work tomorrow,
Oh yea and kiss my beautiful almost 7 month old girl who wants to stand and walk already, and Emmaus who wakes up wanting to watch Incredibles, or Tangled, or his Favorite NEMO. But only after he has 5 smiley faces for going to the potty.
Until later...IF you are still checking this, thanks peeps!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Time Flies...
Be prepared for another novella: (Part of this is just for me to evaluate what is going on with everyone...sorry if it's TMI, or just too long and boring...if you don't get to be around us all that much, I hope you enjoy it.)
I can't believe it's been almost 2 months since my last post. I'm not sure if I've explained this or not, but anytime Emmaus sees the computer out, he wants to look at pictues, watch Leap Frog, or do anything other than let me try to post pictures on my blog. This is one reason I will "blame" for not updating this on a more regular basis. Fortunately I still have enought pictures to do a blog, just not the time or privacy to put them on here.
Imogen is almost 4 months old ..(in one week) and Emmaus is almost 2 years old...(in 17 days)...for that matter, I'll be 31 years old in 3 days!!! I do love birthdays and marking time
Jake's parents are in town...This is the first time they've been able to see the baby. (They were here for the birth, but she was later than we had anticipated.) So we decided to have her dedication while they were here. That was nice. Imogen and Emmaus were very patient while Bob did his thing. It was super cute when Emmaus interupted and said, "Let's Pray..." My terri mom and gma Sandy came too. Then we all went to In and Out Burger aftewards. (Mike and Mary and Sandy had never been before, so we thought why not. Emmaus loves any place with french fries.)
I started school up at the U last week. I'm looking forward to being graduated. I have 9 credit hours this semester, summer I plan on taking another 9, which leaves 7 remaining for the Fall, followed by NO MORE SCHOOL! I like the things I'm learning, but it takes away from my time with the kids and jake and my sleep..haha. I'm taking a Family Violence class, and Attachment Theory..and I'm TAing for a former professuer, just grading some papers...I'm hoping that one won't take up too much time...(fingers crossed.)
Emmaus is AMAZING...as always. He's so tall, and sooo strong. He will lift himself onto our coffee table with just his ams. (Like in a pike position...it's hard to explain....) I might have already said this, but this is waht comes to mind when I talk about Emmaus. He knows his alphabet sooo well. We have a Spiderman activity book that has a word snake type game. He will say the letters in the square so fast, W, S, B, R, Q, E....It's neat that he can identify the letters, not just repeat what he has heard in the song. It's really cute because we'll be doing something and he will just stop, and either point out letters on my shirt, or run to the recycling bin and point out letters and numbers that are on a box in there. He's counting too...He can go from 1-10 and back to 1. He can get to 12, then 14, 18, 19, 20. We're still working on the thirteen...
He loves his books, but even more loves his shows and movies and our smart phones. Mr. Technology. When I say I can't pull out my laptop to do anything, I really can't pull out my phone to do anything. I shouldn't say anything, but for example, he was walking from our garage door towards his room...he's walking at a steady pace, glances over towards the counter, see's jake's laptop open on the counter, and he paused, and actually took steps backward and rerouted himself towards the counter. It was funny. He's doing okay when we tell him no, bt sometimes he throws such a fit...I feel bad for him sometimes, but wow...he gets so passionate about things...
He's doing better with his coloring too, more centralized and he likes coloring in the eyes right now. We found an app on gmas smart phone where he can drag puzzle pieces together to make a picture. Mary wasn't sure if Emmaus would be able to figure it out, other than not liking the touch/vibrate feeling, he was a pro. To avoid the vibration (can't remember what that is called.) He grabbed Gma Mary's finger and was using it like a stylus to move the pieces around. Such a problem solver.
He's also doing really good with his potty training...It's been about 5 months I think since we introduced the idea to him. Now he'll run to the potty sometimes on his own, pull down his pants/underwear, stand up on the stool, and sit down...Jake told me a story that Emmaus went poop in our portable potty, picked it up, tried to dump it into the big potty, some spilled, and he tried to clean it up with the cloth wipes we had. Jake found him scrubbing the floor and about 3 wipes in the toilet...he's such a sweetie.
Imogen has rolled over a few times from her tummy to her back. She slept 9 hours the other night (in a row...) that was a bit of a shock...She smiles non stop...well that's an exaggeration, but you get the picture. She is such a happy baby. We are super uber blessed. (that was for you jeannine.) She's started laughing too sometimes. That is the most precious noise ever. She seems to be teething too. I don't see any white spots under her gums yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if hers surfaced soon. Emmaus was around 7 months when his first came through. we'll see what happens.
She's also showing some impressive signs of strength. When on her belly she can straighten her arms underneath her...and she's been spending a lot of time in her exersaucer too..she likes the mirror rhino on there...and sucking on the elephant ears.
Jake has a gig next week . It's a company that used him before, and specifically asked for him again by name, that was awesome. It's during Sundance too, so this could be extra cool...or just normal...either way it's a good experience for him. He bought me/us a steam vac for my birthday...and he's cleaned almost the whole house with it including part of the kitchen. (It does tile too.) He's been submitting some of his short stories online...hoping someone publishes one of them...and I'm hoping he works on getting his murder mysteries revamped so he can set up a website with them.
We are all happy, healthy (thank God) and thriving. Looking forward to going to Minnesota in June for Andrew and Becca's wedding. Susanna's getting married in April, Shalom and Jake in May...Lots of fun things coming up...Hopefully I'll be able to post a few pics about it...we'll see.
as always...
I can't believe it's been almost 2 months since my last post. I'm not sure if I've explained this or not, but anytime Emmaus sees the computer out, he wants to look at pictues, watch Leap Frog, or do anything other than let me try to post pictures on my blog. This is one reason I will "blame" for not updating this on a more regular basis. Fortunately I still have enought pictures to do a blog, just not the time or privacy to put them on here.
Imogen is almost 4 months old ..(in one week) and Emmaus is almost 2 years old...(in 17 days)...for that matter, I'll be 31 years old in 3 days!!! I do love birthdays and marking time
Jake's parents are in town...This is the first time they've been able to see the baby. (They were here for the birth, but she was later than we had anticipated.) So we decided to have her dedication while they were here. That was nice. Imogen and Emmaus were very patient while Bob did his thing. It was super cute when Emmaus interupted and said, "Let's Pray..." My terri mom and gma Sandy came too. Then we all went to In and Out Burger aftewards. (Mike and Mary and Sandy had never been before, so we thought why not. Emmaus loves any place with french fries.)
I started school up at the U last week. I'm looking forward to being graduated. I have 9 credit hours this semester, summer I plan on taking another 9, which leaves 7 remaining for the Fall, followed by NO MORE SCHOOL! I like the things I'm learning, but it takes away from my time with the kids and jake and my sleep..haha. I'm taking a Family Violence class, and Attachment Theory..and I'm TAing for a former professuer, just grading some papers...I'm hoping that one won't take up too much time...(fingers crossed.)
Emmaus is AMAZING...as always. He's so tall, and sooo strong. He will lift himself onto our coffee table with just his ams. (Like in a pike position...it's hard to explain....) I might have already said this, but this is waht comes to mind when I talk about Emmaus. He knows his alphabet sooo well. We have a Spiderman activity book that has a word snake type game. He will say the letters in the square so fast, W, S, B, R, Q, E....It's neat that he can identify the letters, not just repeat what he has heard in the song. It's really cute because we'll be doing something and he will just stop, and either point out letters on my shirt, or run to the recycling bin and point out letters and numbers that are on a box in there. He's counting too...He can go from 1-10 and back to 1. He can get to 12, then 14, 18, 19, 20. We're still working on the thirteen...
He loves his books, but even more loves his shows and movies and our smart phones. Mr. Technology. When I say I can't pull out my laptop to do anything, I really can't pull out my phone to do anything. I shouldn't say anything, but for example, he was walking from our garage door towards his room...he's walking at a steady pace, glances over towards the counter, see's jake's laptop open on the counter, and he paused, and actually took steps backward and rerouted himself towards the counter. It was funny. He's doing okay when we tell him no, bt sometimes he throws such a fit...I feel bad for him sometimes, but wow...he gets so passionate about things...
He's doing better with his coloring too, more centralized and he likes coloring in the eyes right now. We found an app on gmas smart phone where he can drag puzzle pieces together to make a picture. Mary wasn't sure if Emmaus would be able to figure it out, other than not liking the touch/vibrate feeling, he was a pro. To avoid the vibration (can't remember what that is called.) He grabbed Gma Mary's finger and was using it like a stylus to move the pieces around. Such a problem solver.
He's also doing really good with his potty training...It's been about 5 months I think since we introduced the idea to him. Now he'll run to the potty sometimes on his own, pull down his pants/underwear, stand up on the stool, and sit down...Jake told me a story that Emmaus went poop in our portable potty, picked it up, tried to dump it into the big potty, some spilled, and he tried to clean it up with the cloth wipes we had. Jake found him scrubbing the floor and about 3 wipes in the toilet...he's such a sweetie.
Imogen has rolled over a few times from her tummy to her back. She slept 9 hours the other night (in a row...) that was a bit of a shock...She smiles non stop...well that's an exaggeration, but you get the picture. She is such a happy baby. We are super uber blessed. (that was for you jeannine.) She's started laughing too sometimes. That is the most precious noise ever. She seems to be teething too. I don't see any white spots under her gums yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if hers surfaced soon. Emmaus was around 7 months when his first came through. we'll see what happens.
She's also showing some impressive signs of strength. When on her belly she can straighten her arms underneath her...and she's been spending a lot of time in her exersaucer too..she likes the mirror rhino on there...and sucking on the elephant ears.
Jake has a gig next week . It's a company that used him before, and specifically asked for him again by name, that was awesome. It's during Sundance too, so this could be extra cool...or just normal...either way it's a good experience for him. He bought me/us a steam vac for my birthday...and he's cleaned almost the whole house with it including part of the kitchen. (It does tile too.) He's been submitting some of his short stories online...hoping someone publishes one of them...and I'm hoping he works on getting his murder mysteries revamped so he can set up a website with them.
We are all happy, healthy (thank God) and thriving. Looking forward to going to Minnesota in June for Andrew and Becca's wedding. Susanna's getting married in April, Shalom and Jake in May...Lots of fun things coming up...Hopefully I'll be able to post a few pics about it...we'll see.
as always...
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Update time..I guess
It's been 3 weeks since I last posted...so I guess I should write something about what is going on in my life.
(I didn't expect this to get as long as it did..if you make it to the end...congratulations.)
Emmaus is freaking amazing. Still working on potty training...he has his good days and his accident days...Jake was so happy yesterday...in his words "Emmaus had a BIG poop in the potty...-we have resorted to rewarding him with watching Leap Frog, or a video of his choice...if it gets him motivated, so be it..shrug. (I dislike him running around with nothing on the bottom part of his bottom. He's started touching his peepee a little too much for my liking...I know it's natural...but really does he have to go through this phase. Fortunately when his pants are on he hasn't tried to put his hand down his pants yet..at least I haven't seen it..I hope this passes soon.)
He talks sooo much and has started using prepositions too. He said Minnesota today...I could post a list of all of his words...but that would take a long time...and I can't think of all of them right now..I love it when he strings 3 or 4 or more words together in his sentences.
He loves his numbers and letters right now..Thanks to Leap Frog.(yea Netflix.) When we open the fridge he is right there cause he "needs" something out of there just like we do. He's a bit obsessed with our phones. He finds games, videos, pictures...changes settings, calls grandma occassionally. He's quite tech savvy actually. We might need to get him a kid laptop sooner than later, that is if that would be good enough for him...I'm not convinced..hehe
Jake was telling me today that they were playing hide and seek. Jake got him to close his eyes and count and come find him...he got distracted in route and started playing with a toy somewhere. Jake started making some noises and Emmaus finally came to find him. When it was daddy's turn to find Emmaus, Emm took off and was giggling the whole time while he was waiting to be found. I am sad I missed that special moment, but loved the replay I got...those two have such a special relationship. Love it.
Imogen is already 2 months old. She is SO big. I need to post a newborn pic and a 2 month pic next to each other. It's amazing what berast milk can do to a kid. (I'm sure formula does the same thing.)
She's cooing...currently her favorite word to say is "Hi"..seriously..that's what it sounds like. She follows us around the room with her eyes...and she smiles sooo much. She's a great eater and great sleeper. (She still only sleeps about 3.5-5 hours at night...but eats and goes right back to sleep. Last night I was only awake for about 20 minutes in between. She's great. She's wearing 3-6 month clothes already. She has a little bald spot on the back of head from laying on her back...which is to be expected...but otherwise I love her dark hair...I wanted a little girl with dark hair...that makes me smile.
I have been looking around for various bows and head bands to put in her hair. I have a friend who made a neat flower out of satin..I'm going to crochet a couple, and hopefully that will satisfy me. We'll see..and I'll post pics. I haven't been a slacker taking pictures or anything...there are two factors playing into it. 1st, I'm back to work so that limits when I can snap some flashes. 2nd of all, Emmaus is a photo fiend. He goes berzerk when I pull the camera out..."See PICTURES!!" He has been getting better, but sometimes I just think it's better to not elicit the response....POINT BEING...I'll get some more pics up soon.
Speaking of pictues. Jake's brother Andrew came out for Thanksgiving with his awesomely beautiful and talented girlfriend Becca Oehrig. She's a professional photographer and all around amazing woman..(if you are reading this please don't be embarrassed, I just think you rock.) So brought out her gear to shoot a few pics of the family. It was so sweet of her to even offer. I have the worst ages to try to take pics of kids....not only individually but thinking of trying to get something together is just silly...but we attempted, and I think we got some sweet pics. I haven't seen them yet, but I was pleased with our experience. You should have seen her running after Emmaus while we were in the back yard...she was awesome. Have I said that enough yet?..hehe. (I'll post those pics when I get them from her...she's a busy lady.)
Speaking of Thanksgiving...we had a really wonderful time. Not only was Andrew and Becca in town, but Jojo and Sarah drove out from San Diego, Bill drove up from Texas and we hosted the lot of them at our humble home. Dad cooked the turkey and gravy, we (Jake, Becca and Andrew) prepared the mashed potatoes, green beans and salad. I made the pumpkin pie (from scratch I might add) and mom made a special fruit torte for Jojo's birthday (which happened to fall on Thanksgiving this year.)
I worked a few hours that morning (by choice, it's time and a half...I can never turn that down....next year I'll remember to work later in the evening because I want to do the 5k turkey run. Jake did it last year with Emmaus, but it wound up being really cold, and he didn't want to attempt it again this year...with 2 kids. Funny thing though, it was really warm Thanksgiving morning this year...oh well, we'll see how it turns out next year.) When I got home Andrew and Becca and Jake were playing Puerto Rico (fun game.) Can't remember exactly what we did from then till we started cooking, but I'm sure it was fun. Started cooking, people starting showing up...we hung out...ate...drank...we had a total of 13 people eating dinner in our kitchen...that was sort of comical...I should have gotten a picture of it...grrr (regret.) then a few more people came over to play games to celebrate Jojo's bday. We played Three Round Noun...and Telephone Pictionary...ask me if you want to know how to play..they are way fun group games.
It's tradition with my Hahn family that the Saturday after Thanksgiving we have a huge Fundraiser Party for Kedesh. That is the orphanage where Jake and I met in Mozambique. It was really neat this year because not only was Andrew also in Beira with us, but Becca had also spent some time at Kedesh with John Wickes the year before we had all been there. So we had 8 people who had been to see the orphanage at the party. One other person was supposed to come, but got tied up with other family plans and was unable to join us. That was pretty cool. On top of that, we got to Skype John and the boys this year. That was a super cool experience. Emmaus had already gone to sleep by the time we called...(it was like 5am or something their time..they woke up early just to see us.) ...so he didnt' get to see them, but I showed John Imogen...if it wasn't for Kedesh and John, our kids wouldn't even exist. Love that man. The party was again another success. They raised $1228 for the boys....it's a great cause, I love being apart of it.
It was a crazy weekend, very busy, but well worth it. We also were able to take Andrew and Becca down to Greek Souvlaki downtown. Afterall, no one can come visit us without stopping there, I won't have it!...I drove Becca around a little to show her Salt Lake...it was night time...and with the Christmas lights up at Temple Square I figured I'd drive her past it...just to have the experience. We had hoped to go hiking, but with me working and everything else going on..it didn't work out...the one day we were planning on...it was snowing in the mountains...there's always next year...or the year after and soo on...hopefully they'll be able to come back out when the weather is nicer.
Now It's almost December. We've bought most of the Christmas gifts that we will be getting...and opened over half of them too...we don't really stand on occassion at our house...I have a couple of things for him to open up on Christmas...and maybe I'll get a few more things...but...we'll see. I don't see any reason to really get her anything...wait..I did buy her an outfit that I could wrap for sake of a photo..but really she has everything she needs...we'll see.. it seems to be more about the photos than anything.
We don't do a tree at our house. Jake doesn't want to deal with all the hassle of putting it up and buying stuff and tearing it down..I agree to some extent...but I still wish we had some holiday cheeriness in the form of something visual. I'm pushing to at least get some cute stockings this year for the 4 of us...we do have a chimney..and I think that would make me happy enough...I realize with Emmaus the tree would probably wind up on its side a few times too, so maybe sometime in the future we can get the tree....if we decide to. I'm not a huge fan either, but ya know, it's Christmas....
We did decide to do an advent calender this year..probably just do a store bought one this time, maybe I'll get more creative for next year when I can put more thought into it...
It's about 4 weeks till Christmas, 6 weeks till Mike and Mary come out to meet imogen, 7 weeks till my birthday, 9 weeks till Emmaus' birthday...I'll be starting school at the U again in January with a graduation date tentatively of December 2012, we have 2 possibly 3 weddings for May...We'll see what else comes our way.
as always, thanks for reading...
(oh yea, I'm also on a crochet kick..hats and scarves...love the hats i'm doing...I'll have to take a pic of that too...okay, I'm really done this time....)
(I didn't expect this to get as long as it did..if you make it to the end...congratulations.)
Emmaus is freaking amazing. Still working on potty training...he has his good days and his accident days...Jake was so happy yesterday...in his words "Emmaus had a BIG poop in the potty...-we have resorted to rewarding him with watching Leap Frog, or a video of his choice...if it gets him motivated, so be it..shrug. (I dislike him running around with nothing on the bottom part of his bottom. He's started touching his peepee a little too much for my liking...I know it's natural...but really does he have to go through this phase. Fortunately when his pants are on he hasn't tried to put his hand down his pants yet..at least I haven't seen it..I hope this passes soon.)
He talks sooo much and has started using prepositions too. He said Minnesota today...I could post a list of all of his words...but that would take a long time...and I can't think of all of them right now..I love it when he strings 3 or 4 or more words together in his sentences.
He loves his numbers and letters right now..Thanks to Leap Frog.(yea Netflix.) When we open the fridge he is right there cause he "needs" something out of there just like we do. He's a bit obsessed with our phones. He finds games, videos, pictures...changes settings, calls grandma occassionally. He's quite tech savvy actually. We might need to get him a kid laptop sooner than later, that is if that would be good enough for him...I'm not convinced..hehe
Jake was telling me today that they were playing hide and seek. Jake got him to close his eyes and count and come find him...he got distracted in route and started playing with a toy somewhere. Jake started making some noises and Emmaus finally came to find him. When it was daddy's turn to find Emmaus, Emm took off and was giggling the whole time while he was waiting to be found. I am sad I missed that special moment, but loved the replay I got...those two have such a special relationship. Love it.
Imogen is already 2 months old. She is SO big. I need to post a newborn pic and a 2 month pic next to each other. It's amazing what berast milk can do to a kid. (I'm sure formula does the same thing.)
She's cooing...currently her favorite word to say is "Hi"..seriously..that's what it sounds like. She follows us around the room with her eyes...and she smiles sooo much. She's a great eater and great sleeper. (She still only sleeps about 3.5-5 hours at night...but eats and goes right back to sleep. Last night I was only awake for about 20 minutes in between. She's great. She's wearing 3-6 month clothes already. She has a little bald spot on the back of head from laying on her back...which is to be expected...but otherwise I love her dark hair...I wanted a little girl with dark hair...that makes me smile.
I have been looking around for various bows and head bands to put in her hair. I have a friend who made a neat flower out of satin..I'm going to crochet a couple, and hopefully that will satisfy me. We'll see..and I'll post pics. I haven't been a slacker taking pictures or anything...there are two factors playing into it. 1st, I'm back to work so that limits when I can snap some flashes. 2nd of all, Emmaus is a photo fiend. He goes berzerk when I pull the camera out..."See PICTURES!!" He has been getting better, but sometimes I just think it's better to not elicit the response....POINT BEING...I'll get some more pics up soon.
Speaking of pictues. Jake's brother Andrew came out for Thanksgiving with his awesomely beautiful and talented girlfriend Becca Oehrig. She's a professional photographer and all around amazing woman..(if you are reading this please don't be embarrassed, I just think you rock.) So brought out her gear to shoot a few pics of the family. It was so sweet of her to even offer. I have the worst ages to try to take pics of kids....not only individually but thinking of trying to get something together is just silly...but we attempted, and I think we got some sweet pics. I haven't seen them yet, but I was pleased with our experience. You should have seen her running after Emmaus while we were in the back yard...she was awesome. Have I said that enough yet?..hehe. (I'll post those pics when I get them from her...she's a busy lady.)
Speaking of Thanksgiving...we had a really wonderful time. Not only was Andrew and Becca in town, but Jojo and Sarah drove out from San Diego, Bill drove up from Texas and we hosted the lot of them at our humble home. Dad cooked the turkey and gravy, we (Jake, Becca and Andrew) prepared the mashed potatoes, green beans and salad. I made the pumpkin pie (from scratch I might add) and mom made a special fruit torte for Jojo's birthday (which happened to fall on Thanksgiving this year.)
I worked a few hours that morning (by choice, it's time and a half...I can never turn that down....next year I'll remember to work later in the evening because I want to do the 5k turkey run. Jake did it last year with Emmaus, but it wound up being really cold, and he didn't want to attempt it again this year...with 2 kids. Funny thing though, it was really warm Thanksgiving morning this year...oh well, we'll see how it turns out next year.) When I got home Andrew and Becca and Jake were playing Puerto Rico (fun game.) Can't remember exactly what we did from then till we started cooking, but I'm sure it was fun. Started cooking, people starting showing up...we hung out...ate...drank...we had a total of 13 people eating dinner in our kitchen...that was sort of comical...I should have gotten a picture of it...grrr (regret.) then a few more people came over to play games to celebrate Jojo's bday. We played Three Round Noun...and Telephone Pictionary...ask me if you want to know how to play..they are way fun group games.
It's tradition with my Hahn family that the Saturday after Thanksgiving we have a huge Fundraiser Party for Kedesh. That is the orphanage where Jake and I met in Mozambique. It was really neat this year because not only was Andrew also in Beira with us, but Becca had also spent some time at Kedesh with John Wickes the year before we had all been there. So we had 8 people who had been to see the orphanage at the party. One other person was supposed to come, but got tied up with other family plans and was unable to join us. That was pretty cool. On top of that, we got to Skype John and the boys this year. That was a super cool experience. Emmaus had already gone to sleep by the time we called...(it was like 5am or something their time..they woke up early just to see us.) ...so he didnt' get to see them, but I showed John Imogen...if it wasn't for Kedesh and John, our kids wouldn't even exist. Love that man. The party was again another success. They raised $1228 for the boys....it's a great cause, I love being apart of it.
It was a crazy weekend, very busy, but well worth it. We also were able to take Andrew and Becca down to Greek Souvlaki downtown. Afterall, no one can come visit us without stopping there, I won't have it!...I drove Becca around a little to show her Salt Lake...it was night time...and with the Christmas lights up at Temple Square I figured I'd drive her past it...just to have the experience. We had hoped to go hiking, but with me working and everything else going on..it didn't work out...the one day we were planning on...it was snowing in the mountains...there's always next year...or the year after and soo on...hopefully they'll be able to come back out when the weather is nicer.
Now It's almost December. We've bought most of the Christmas gifts that we will be getting...and opened over half of them too...we don't really stand on occassion at our house...I have a couple of things for him to open up on Christmas...and maybe I'll get a few more things...but...we'll see. I don't see any reason to really get her anything...wait..I did buy her an outfit that I could wrap for sake of a photo..but really she has everything she needs...we'll see.. it seems to be more about the photos than anything.
We don't do a tree at our house. Jake doesn't want to deal with all the hassle of putting it up and buying stuff and tearing it down..I agree to some extent...but I still wish we had some holiday cheeriness in the form of something visual. I'm pushing to at least get some cute stockings this year for the 4 of us...we do have a chimney..and I think that would make me happy enough...I realize with Emmaus the tree would probably wind up on its side a few times too, so maybe sometime in the future we can get the tree....if we decide to. I'm not a huge fan either, but ya know, it's Christmas....
We did decide to do an advent calender this year..probably just do a store bought one this time, maybe I'll get more creative for next year when I can put more thought into it...
It's about 4 weeks till Christmas, 6 weeks till Mike and Mary come out to meet imogen, 7 weeks till my birthday, 9 weeks till Emmaus' birthday...I'll be starting school at the U again in January with a graduation date tentatively of December 2012, we have 2 possibly 3 weddings for May...We'll see what else comes our way.
as always, thanks for reading...
(oh yea, I'm also on a crochet kick..hats and scarves...love the hats i'm doing...I'll have to take a pic of that too...okay, I'm really done this time....)
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Sigh...
So as you all know Jake and I had great success with our pregnancies. Not only did we get pregnant on our first try with both kids, but I carried them with relative ease and even though my deliveries were a bit long there wasn't a lot of complications...(yes, emmaus was in the NICU for 10 days, but it was mostly that he had swallowed the maconium...so it was just that they needed to clean out his system...no real scare of underdevloped parts or anything.)
I'm writing this because I have a lot of friends who are pregant right now, or trying to get pregnant. One friend in particular just found out that the 20 week baby she is carrying is missing some vital organs and has been told that it probably won't beable to survive outside of the womb. Heart Breaking. Speechless.
We never did any genetic testing with our pregnancies because my thought had always been if something were to come up, how would that change anything. I would still have the baby, so why not just have the baby and figure things out after the fact....my friends situation isn't genetically relevant, but I've been thinking about the convo I had with her about her situation....and am trying to relate anything I've experienced with what she is going through. To try to understand...to empathize...when I was thinking about not doing those tests it was under the assumption that as long as the baby came out breathing and with a heartbeat that we could overcome anything else...I never considered the alternative.....
I haven't thought this much about anything for awhile...I guess I want to know what other people think about it, what you've gone through...for those of you who are prego or have been, or want to be...what are your concerns/scares/praise reports about experiences you've gone through/heard about....
My friend was given the choice of wanting to carry the child to term/ carry the baby as long as the body allows for it to, or to terminate the pregnancy themselves. How does one make this decision?
There's the perspective that baby is still a baby, so voluntarily ending the pregancy at any point is abortion...but how does one emotionally carry a child in the womb knowing it won't live? I guess the idea of spending as much time with your child would be something to cherish because a life is a life.
I'm not supporting any one decision, I don't have an agenda with this post. I have an open mind about all of the above...I just feel the need to write about this. I know of other friends who have miscarried later in the pregnancy and I saw how emotional it was for them. I never talked to them about it personally...I never knew how to broach the conversation about it since we are friends, just not so close that I felt I could talk to her about it.
My question is not why does God let these things happen, but more...how do we cope with such .....I can't even think of how to describe it. I know that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, that He works miracles, that He will never forsake us. I am grateful that I didn't have to go through anything like this with my children. We volunarily have decided to stop having children. Jake got snipped 3 weeks after Imogen was born.
I feel ...I'm not sure how I feel. I know people, and have friends who struggle with infertility and want a baby more than anything. I don't understand why some people get pregnant without trying, how single teenagers get pregnant after having sex one time, how some women try and try and try and finally conceive only to have some kind of complication and lose the baby...I guess in a weird way that I'm cheating...I know I'm not going to say this right, but...I feel bad in a way, that we had it so easy...that we feel our family is complete that we want to move on with our lives and don't feel the need/want to have anymore kids, yet there are all these people that still can't have a child, or can't have another one, or are struggling to have another one...you get the picture. I just wish it was easy for everyone...
I know everyone is different and I believe that things happen for a reason...in a way it makes me love and cherish my babes that much more. I know we are blessed and I never want to feel held back by my kids. They are a blessing not only to me and Jake, they are a blessing to everyone that lays eyes on their beautiful little faces.
To all my friends out there, my heart goes out to your families whether you are single, married, in a relationship, with child, enjoying a newborn, or are on your umpteenth baby. Cherish the life you have. Live it to the fullest. Bless others around you. Remember Jesus died for you and to show his Love to others in everything you do. Love one another....I'll leave you with Hard Rock Cafe's mantra:
Love All Serve All
please leave a comment about your thoughts....I think people need to hear...
as always, thank you for reading.
I'm writing this because I have a lot of friends who are pregant right now, or trying to get pregnant. One friend in particular just found out that the 20 week baby she is carrying is missing some vital organs and has been told that it probably won't beable to survive outside of the womb. Heart Breaking. Speechless.
We never did any genetic testing with our pregnancies because my thought had always been if something were to come up, how would that change anything. I would still have the baby, so why not just have the baby and figure things out after the fact....my friends situation isn't genetically relevant, but I've been thinking about the convo I had with her about her situation....and am trying to relate anything I've experienced with what she is going through. To try to understand...to empathize...when I was thinking about not doing those tests it was under the assumption that as long as the baby came out breathing and with a heartbeat that we could overcome anything else...I never considered the alternative.....
I haven't thought this much about anything for awhile...I guess I want to know what other people think about it, what you've gone through...for those of you who are prego or have been, or want to be...what are your concerns/scares/praise reports about experiences you've gone through/heard about....
My friend was given the choice of wanting to carry the child to term/ carry the baby as long as the body allows for it to, or to terminate the pregnancy themselves. How does one make this decision?
There's the perspective that baby is still a baby, so voluntarily ending the pregancy at any point is abortion...but how does one emotionally carry a child in the womb knowing it won't live? I guess the idea of spending as much time with your child would be something to cherish because a life is a life.
I'm not supporting any one decision, I don't have an agenda with this post. I have an open mind about all of the above...I just feel the need to write about this. I know of other friends who have miscarried later in the pregnancy and I saw how emotional it was for them. I never talked to them about it personally...I never knew how to broach the conversation about it since we are friends, just not so close that I felt I could talk to her about it.
My question is not why does God let these things happen, but more...how do we cope with such .....I can't even think of how to describe it. I know that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, that He works miracles, that He will never forsake us. I am grateful that I didn't have to go through anything like this with my children. We volunarily have decided to stop having children. Jake got snipped 3 weeks after Imogen was born.
I feel ...I'm not sure how I feel. I know people, and have friends who struggle with infertility and want a baby more than anything. I don't understand why some people get pregnant without trying, how single teenagers get pregnant after having sex one time, how some women try and try and try and finally conceive only to have some kind of complication and lose the baby...I guess in a weird way that I'm cheating...I know I'm not going to say this right, but...I feel bad in a way, that we had it so easy...that we feel our family is complete that we want to move on with our lives and don't feel the need/want to have anymore kids, yet there are all these people that still can't have a child, or can't have another one, or are struggling to have another one...you get the picture. I just wish it was easy for everyone...
I know everyone is different and I believe that things happen for a reason...in a way it makes me love and cherish my babes that much more. I know we are blessed and I never want to feel held back by my kids. They are a blessing not only to me and Jake, they are a blessing to everyone that lays eyes on their beautiful little faces.
To all my friends out there, my heart goes out to your families whether you are single, married, in a relationship, with child, enjoying a newborn, or are on your umpteenth baby. Cherish the life you have. Live it to the fullest. Bless others around you. Remember Jesus died for you and to show his Love to others in everything you do. Love one another....I'll leave you with Hard Rock Cafe's mantra:
Love All Serve All
please leave a comment about your thoughts....I think people need to hear...
as always, thank you for reading.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Birth Story
Hi there fans. Sorry for the hiatus in posts...I had a baby. Big surprise.
So I'm going to start this out by saying duh me...
When we had our ultra sound to find out the gender of our baby U2, the technician said that from the size of her, the due date was going to get put at Sept 23. However, our dates that determine when we got pregnant were fool proof...only one cycle from breast feeding to positive pregnancy test....not much room for error...so we stuck with the due date of Sept 11....silly me...she came out on the 23rd....so 12 days late? or on time...you decide...her records will always say 12 days late....was it really late, or just me hoping to have her out sooner than later?
We got home from San Diego all ready to have baby U2...time came and went. Due date came, Jake's parents came, we went hiking a few times trying to encourage her to come out...to no avail. We went to Cafe Trio for their labor inducing pizza (lots of roasted garlic...) Didn't work. Ate pineapple, drank red raspberry leaf tea, took some evening primrose, and even a few doses of black and blue cohosh...nothing was getting this girl going. Mike and Mary's trip came and went. Jake and I toyed with the idea of inducing her before the Ulasich's had to go home...but in the end really wanted to go into labor naturally.
Time kept ticking away, Jojo and Sarah's wedding reception came and went. That was fun having everyone ask me when I was going to have that baby...really people?..haha...every night I went to bed hoping I'd wake up with contractions....still nothing to get excited about. We had a non stress test...everything was looking fine on the inside..but because when you are over 41 weeks, the placenta can go bad...I was getting a little nervous. We decided to schedule the induction with the advice of the midwife. We wanted it for friday the 23rd, but they were full so we opted for the Thursday before. I didn't want to wait through another weekend...too much mental stress.
So at 730am on 9/22 we got the call to come into the hospital for induction at 9am. We delivered at IMC with the midwives (LOVED IT! Highly recommend.)
I called my Terri mom....Vickie mom had flown in that Tuesday so she came with us, I called Melissa B to come up to the hospital...Betty M THANKFULLY was able to stay with Emmaus...and we were off. Once we got settled into the room and the midwife came in to check me out I was expecting things to get going quickly and we'd have U2 in our arms in no time....not so much. When the midwife did the first check to see how far I was...I was still barely at a 1...not even all the way through ....grrr...some of the other midwives had said I was at a 1 for like a week,and the last appointment had said I was 1 and a wiggle...I have never been so happy to hear I was a wiggle..but that wiggle apparently went away over night..SO
Next step was to take Cytotech..(not sure how to spell that.) Cervical ripener...a little pill that I had to keep in my mouth till it disolved...So I sat in bed, walked around a little bit..I was hooked up to a fetal monitor..if I remember correctly...so jake and I were walking around together, he was holding the monitor around his neck...it was quite adorable.
After 4 doses (I think..) and 24 hours later we were finally 100% effaced...and at a 2. I didn't think that was much progress for 24 hours and I had my break down and started crying and losing it...sigh. Midwife came in to break my water..tough little thing it was too..again. no surprise (gma's water never broke naturally, neither did moms, nor did we with emmaus.) They started the Pitocin and we were off...NO epidural!
On came the more severe contractions....I think serious labor went on for about 6 hours. We were in every position imaginable....nothing was really doing it for me...hands and knees...on my side, in the tub, with the pole...I had someone pushing on my back the entire time..thanks again everyone..sometimes it helped me get through the contractions sometimes it didn't...I couldn't figure out what was working...I'm sure everyone was getting frustrated with me...but they only showed me love....such a great group of peeps..including the nurses. Couldn't have done it without them.
The midwives were extremely busy that day...tons of induction/labors...so another midwife who wasn't supposed to be on the floor walked into my room...just in time. We were struggling trying to get into a position that would work and she very calmly says have you tried....yadayadayada...I didn't care which position it was, I just wanted help!! So she had me sit up in the bed...it converted into what I like to call a throne..I was sitting up, and the midwife pushed on my knees so that my back was flush up against the bed...it's hard to explain...point being..the pain seemed to miraculously go away...it was amazing. I went from freaking out to being able to breath through the contractions...it was magic! Praise God for Ida walking in when she did.
From there on out..things went well...then an hour of pushing...and out came Imogen Silver Leigh Ulasich! (Her name origin...We had 2 names picked out...Imogen Leigh and Silver Joy. I knew Jake would have a very hard time not picking Imogen...so close to delivery date I had an idea to add Silver as a second middle name since we are done having kids...he agreed and there it was. We got Imogen primarily Imogen Heap..she's a british musician that we both like a lot...from the band Frou Frou..perhaps you heard them on the Garden State soundtrack...then I found out that Imogen is also a Shakespearian princess from the play Cymbeline...and a photographer, and an actor I think...and the aunt in the newest Alice in wonderland..which makes me think the character is in the book, and someone told me it was Julia Stiles characters name in a movie ...Down to you..or something like that with Freddy Prince...and it's the name of a British war ship...so not as obscure as Emmaus...we like it. and I said her name to her today (11/3) and she smiled..hehe...me think she likes it too.)
4:09 pm on Sept 23, 2011. She was breathing and they handed her to me immediately. The chord was a little short, someone was pulling on it...and after all that pain of pushing etc...that is the most memorable pain...the tugging of the chord before it had been cut...haha. (Jake cut the chord.) My placenta was HUGE...I won't post the picture, but it was like 10 lbs...I'd say like 12 inches long and 6 to 8 inches wide...crazy huge. Imogen got cleaned up 7.14.5 lbs 21 inches...just .5 oz. off from her brother...someone told us 7.15 so that is what we announced, and I wasn't going to correct it over .5 oz anyway...so we'll just say they were the same.
When she came out she was wide eyed and looking around, she latched after they had her all weighed and measured, that was amazing...we didn't get to hold emmaus until a few days after he was born due to the whole NICU thing.
The rest was normal...went to the post-pardum department, got woken up every few hours by the nurses and the baby to feed..Emmaus came up that night to meet his sister wearing his awesome big brother scrubs I bought for him. He seemed to love her immediately. And he seemed to understand that sister was no longer in mama's tummy but that sister was now, this baby. I thought that was cool.
anything I left out?...if you have any questions let me know.
Our family is complete, all is healthy happy a little sleep deprived, but we'll get over that. Thanks for reading my novella, I look forward to posting more about life and the various goings on with me...
as always...
So I'm going to start this out by saying duh me...
When we had our ultra sound to find out the gender of our baby U2, the technician said that from the size of her, the due date was going to get put at Sept 23. However, our dates that determine when we got pregnant were fool proof...only one cycle from breast feeding to positive pregnancy test....not much room for error...so we stuck with the due date of Sept 11....silly me...she came out on the 23rd....so 12 days late? or on time...you decide...her records will always say 12 days late....was it really late, or just me hoping to have her out sooner than later?
We got home from San Diego all ready to have baby U2...time came and went. Due date came, Jake's parents came, we went hiking a few times trying to encourage her to come out...to no avail. We went to Cafe Trio for their labor inducing pizza (lots of roasted garlic...) Didn't work. Ate pineapple, drank red raspberry leaf tea, took some evening primrose, and even a few doses of black and blue cohosh...nothing was getting this girl going. Mike and Mary's trip came and went. Jake and I toyed with the idea of inducing her before the Ulasich's had to go home...but in the end really wanted to go into labor naturally.
Time kept ticking away, Jojo and Sarah's wedding reception came and went. That was fun having everyone ask me when I was going to have that baby...really people?..haha...every night I went to bed hoping I'd wake up with contractions....still nothing to get excited about. We had a non stress test...everything was looking fine on the inside..but because when you are over 41 weeks, the placenta can go bad...I was getting a little nervous. We decided to schedule the induction with the advice of the midwife. We wanted it for friday the 23rd, but they were full so we opted for the Thursday before. I didn't want to wait through another weekend...too much mental stress.
So at 730am on 9/22 we got the call to come into the hospital for induction at 9am. We delivered at IMC with the midwives (LOVED IT! Highly recommend.)
I called my Terri mom....Vickie mom had flown in that Tuesday so she came with us, I called Melissa B to come up to the hospital...Betty M THANKFULLY was able to stay with Emmaus...and we were off. Once we got settled into the room and the midwife came in to check me out I was expecting things to get going quickly and we'd have U2 in our arms in no time....not so much. When the midwife did the first check to see how far I was...I was still barely at a 1...not even all the way through ....grrr...some of the other midwives had said I was at a 1 for like a week,and the last appointment had said I was 1 and a wiggle...I have never been so happy to hear I was a wiggle..but that wiggle apparently went away over night..SO
Next step was to take Cytotech..(not sure how to spell that.) Cervical ripener...a little pill that I had to keep in my mouth till it disolved...So I sat in bed, walked around a little bit..I was hooked up to a fetal monitor..if I remember correctly...so jake and I were walking around together, he was holding the monitor around his neck...it was quite adorable.
After 4 doses (I think..) and 24 hours later we were finally 100% effaced...and at a 2. I didn't think that was much progress for 24 hours and I had my break down and started crying and losing it...sigh. Midwife came in to break my water..tough little thing it was too..again. no surprise (gma's water never broke naturally, neither did moms, nor did we with emmaus.) They started the Pitocin and we were off...NO epidural!
On came the more severe contractions....I think serious labor went on for about 6 hours. We were in every position imaginable....nothing was really doing it for me...hands and knees...on my side, in the tub, with the pole...I had someone pushing on my back the entire time..thanks again everyone..sometimes it helped me get through the contractions sometimes it didn't...I couldn't figure out what was working...I'm sure everyone was getting frustrated with me...but they only showed me love....such a great group of peeps..including the nurses. Couldn't have done it without them.
The midwives were extremely busy that day...tons of induction/labors...so another midwife who wasn't supposed to be on the floor walked into my room...just in time. We were struggling trying to get into a position that would work and she very calmly says have you tried....yadayadayada...I didn't care which position it was, I just wanted help!! So she had me sit up in the bed...it converted into what I like to call a throne..I was sitting up, and the midwife pushed on my knees so that my back was flush up against the bed...it's hard to explain...point being..the pain seemed to miraculously go away...it was amazing. I went from freaking out to being able to breath through the contractions...it was magic! Praise God for Ida walking in when she did.
From there on out..things went well...then an hour of pushing...and out came Imogen Silver Leigh Ulasich! (Her name origin...We had 2 names picked out...Imogen Leigh and Silver Joy. I knew Jake would have a very hard time not picking Imogen...so close to delivery date I had an idea to add Silver as a second middle name since we are done having kids...he agreed and there it was. We got Imogen primarily Imogen Heap..she's a british musician that we both like a lot...from the band Frou Frou..perhaps you heard them on the Garden State soundtrack...then I found out that Imogen is also a Shakespearian princess from the play Cymbeline...and a photographer, and an actor I think...and the aunt in the newest Alice in wonderland..which makes me think the character is in the book, and someone told me it was Julia Stiles characters name in a movie ...Down to you..or something like that with Freddy Prince...and it's the name of a British war ship...so not as obscure as Emmaus...we like it. and I said her name to her today (11/3) and she smiled..hehe...me think she likes it too.)
4:09 pm on Sept 23, 2011. She was breathing and they handed her to me immediately. The chord was a little short, someone was pulling on it...and after all that pain of pushing etc...that is the most memorable pain...the tugging of the chord before it had been cut...haha. (Jake cut the chord.) My placenta was HUGE...I won't post the picture, but it was like 10 lbs...I'd say like 12 inches long and 6 to 8 inches wide...crazy huge. Imogen got cleaned up 7.14.5 lbs 21 inches...just .5 oz. off from her brother...someone told us 7.15 so that is what we announced, and I wasn't going to correct it over .5 oz anyway...so we'll just say they were the same.
When she came out she was wide eyed and looking around, she latched after they had her all weighed and measured, that was amazing...we didn't get to hold emmaus until a few days after he was born due to the whole NICU thing.
The rest was normal...went to the post-pardum department, got woken up every few hours by the nurses and the baby to feed..Emmaus came up that night to meet his sister wearing his awesome big brother scrubs I bought for him. He seemed to love her immediately. And he seemed to understand that sister was no longer in mama's tummy but that sister was now, this baby. I thought that was cool.
anything I left out?...if you have any questions let me know.
Our family is complete, all is healthy happy a little sleep deprived, but we'll get over that. Thanks for reading my novella, I look forward to posting more about life and the various goings on with me...
as always...
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